Family dynamics… we all have them and for some of us we would like a little less. Others may crave more. I use to be on the crave more side. I wanted more family dynamics but the problem was I didn’t want the dynamics I had but rather the dynamics I WISHED I had. That’s right, I am saying, it out loud; I come from a very dysfunctional family who cast me out many years ago because I was different from them. Through my whole life I have carried the pain, guilt and insecurities this tumultuous relationship sent my way absorbing every bit in the only way I could. These feeling held me a prisoner of agony and being less than. So I did the only thing I knew how to do and that was REACT. I reacted with fear, with self-destructive tendencies and I ran every time something was too hard or too good. That’s right. It seemed not only was I unwilling to face the negative energy in my life but also the good.
I am blessed to say my life is now on a completely different path. I am solid in who I am and committed to the journey I am on. Through Divine Guidance and coaching I learn lessons everyday that support others and myself to reawaken and live life in the light.
Reiki is one of my biggest support systems in allowing me to access greater wisdom into living a life not by reaction but rather by purpose.
And today another lesson appeared.
It came in the form of phone call from my mother who was in a dither about an incident that began a year ago. I won’t bore you with all the details because they are not important. What I will say is a year ago I tried to work with other siblings on a situation for the well being of my mother but as always I was dismissed. As always the focus was on just doing something that resolved the situation quickly rather than exploring the possibilities of what was best. At the time this rejection stung like any other altercation I had with them as I was spun back to that place of being a deserted, lonely hurting child.
Today the incident raised its head again as I listened not allowing myself to go back in time. Later in the morning I was on my way to town still pondering in my mind this whole event. Divine Guidance stepped in and here’s what it said. “ You can not expect anything more from those who live life in the dark.”
We live our lives in the dark when stay in reactive mode rather than living on purpose. Let me explain more. How many times do we fly through the day with the main goal of just getting through it? The simplest route with the least resistance is the preferred choice route many times.
I have never lived my life that way which is why I have always been viewed as a “problem’” in my maternal family.
But today is a celebration of moving to higher plane of living.
The Action: By reframing my thoughts I was able show empathy and forgiveness to a family that has normally brought me frustration and pain.
The Lesson: Life is not to be lived in a reactive state but rather with deliberate intention. A reactive state causes us to shift our focus only to immediate gratification. It is a never-ending process of grasping at one shiny object after another with no happiness in between. The light bulb went off in my head and Divine Guidance said,” This has never been about you but rather the way others have chosen to live their lives. They are teachers of how a reactive life style looks so that you too may stop reacting and live life more on purpose.”
As we transition through the different stages of life it is my greatest desire that you do so with deliberate intention and that you unlock the door to savoring each and every moment.
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